I just want to scoop you up, I want to take you away from all of your connections and everyone you have ever known. I want to help you start over and get you clean; and i dont mean forcing you to shower.
G’morning- Up eating my granola and brewing some Starbucks.
And apparently I’m in a new tax bracket this year, so they are able to take out more taxes.. awesome, they make making MORE money suck to be honest.
Sitting in bed procrastinating on going to work for the day/evening. Woke up to Regina Spektor and haven’t stopped her CD since.. she always gets me thinking. I’m deciding that today will be a fantastic day, nothing can make me think otherwise.
Found another roomiemate, lets see if this works out more than the last plan. No problem at all, I just want to find someone that I can stick to a plan with and get the ball rolling as SOON as that license is back in my wallet.
Mucho planning, mucho saving.
February 10th- Boithday.
February 17th- 2 mths clean.
Hmm.. I’ve finally hit a time in my life where I’ve made several decisions in the past 6 months and actually stuck with each one of them. Good streak? I think not, I think.. these are just things that had to be decided on; and hopefully I’m finally just past the point in my life where I constantly back track. I hate to back track, I feel hopeful about so many things to come. Although, I think I’m actually becoming sick of games for once.. which is completely out of the ordinary for myself. Beginnings of a new era? I think so.
Feeling content about things is just fantastic.. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Even without a license? I can’t even imagine once April hits, I’ll have the license back.. be moving into the new place. I’ve already started collecting items for the apartment and creating lists of things I need to get. I also couldn’t ask for better roommates, 2 people that i sincerely get along with and can actually stand for long periods of time!
Things at work are looking up as well, there seems to be alot of room for improvement.. if thats a good way of putting it?
I’ve decided on some serious life changes as of late; and i know that they are things that will make me a significantly happier person. I’m finally getting things pieced together; and can’t wait to start seeing results. I’m always all about results and change.
Exhausted, waiting for Karina to get here.. spending the night there again. Work early in the morning. Not looking forward to tomorrow morning so much. Tonight was different than the usual, and i feel pretty damn good about it. I’m slightly emotional i think this week, i despise acting this way.
Goodmorning, I dont know why the hell my brain can’t just stay dormant the whole night.. there was no need to wake up at 6AM when i have work 9.
So many memories have been rushing through my head this week, hopeless kinds of memories that don’t feel good to remember. Honestly, I woke up wanting to smoke another one.. and make some coffee- when you drink this kind of coffee, you feel as if it’s almost too strong? But then you realize its never strong enough.
Fuck feeling “in love” and people acting all twitterpated and such. You have no idea if this person is any different than the last asshole that hurt you, or the last kids whos heart you fucking ripped apart. Things may never change, you may never find that person you feel that connection with.. andhave things ACTUALLY work with. I’m an optimistic person; but some people are just idiotic when it comes to relationships.
I might add: I’m not against YOU being in love specifically, i’m just bitter and hate cutesy things.. to say the least.
Relaxing at home, in my $2 blanket withOUT Mo.. I dont think he’s feeling all too snuggly tonight.
License is gone till March 31st- ugh.. this will be torture.
Work shouldn’t be too intense this week though, If I can stop feeling emotional and strange while there.. like i did today.
Not working till 2PM, maybe i can convince motha-mazz to drive me to Starbucks in Methuen before.. I’m really craving a Red Eye. Typical of me.
Im not really sure how im feeling lately, i have my moments of feeling lonely.. but then that all goes away and when it really comes down to it, i just want to be left alone. I hate attention from men. Unnecessary attention.
So, I’ve realized that I’m becoming a bit of a workaholic; and I can see that being my life and not really bothering me. I got only one day off last week, instead of the 2 that we’re supposed to get; and honestly by the end of the day off I was ready to work and had no problem going in the next morning (Sunday) I’m not sure if this growing characteristic is a good thing, or bad? Maybe if I can keep myself balanced.. rather than going overboard.
Brittany Murphy died of a cardiac arrest at 32? They’re saying it could have been the result of an OD on white. Damn.
I think I’ll head down to Starbucks at the loop and sip for a while, I’m not going to be able to hit Starbucks for a while with the lack of a license pretty soon. Ahk! And there are a few people I’ve decided to cut off from my life, I feel shitty about it.. but i know this will be the best decision for myself? If people would only try to be mature about things, or just leave me alone in general.. we wouldn’t have problems such as these.
